TurningLeaf Wellness Center - It's not about change, it's about growth: 2010

TURNINGLEAF WELLNESS CENTER PODCAST TODAY

New episode will post today at 5pm MST. Get help on Value Based Living, Family, Parenting, Relationships, Health and Fitness, Mental Health, Substance Abuse, and much more. Listen Here -- http://bit.ly/hMlKHA

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! -The TurningLeaf Family

-- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Value Based Parenting Class tonight

530pm-7pm at TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/wims8

Tearing A Man's House Down: Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

My father said to me as I left home to serve my mission, "Son never tear down a mans house until you have built him a new one." The understanding of this statement has changed through the years. At first I understood it on a level that pertained to what I was doing in the mission field. As the years have passed my work has shown my how to apply this statement and to listen to what they understand and know before I speak to what I feel they need. I have learned to value each person as a source of truth and information, I don't have to be "right," just listen and fill in gaps as needed. It started as a quote from my Grandfather to my Father and has become a guide on my path in life.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Coming Soon! TurningLeaf Wellness Center Podcast

Get free help from some of industry's best every week for a healthier life, healthier relationships, help for parents, help with addictions, and much, much more. The Next Step with Value Based Living Podcast is also included.

Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director
TurningLeaf Wellness Center
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."

Lights In Our Life: Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

As I was thinking about gratitude this Thanksgiving, I was reminded how there are times when others really are there as support. My oldest daughter, Ami's birthday was the 22nd of this month and she has been the one with the desire to "hold the family together" with family times and traditions. However, this started when she was much younger. After her father and I divorced, I struggled. Carol Lynn Pearson wrote a short poem during her marital struggles which she quotes in her book "Embracing Coincidence Transforming Your Life through Synchronicity". And I quote: "I dim, I dim, I have no doubt, If someone blew, I would go out." During that time I was very "dim" for a period of time and she as the oldest felt the responsibility to make up for that somehow. Ms. Pearson further stated: "Two years later, when I found to my surprise that some life still coursed through my veins, I added a final three lines: 'I did not. I must be brighter than I thought". Thank you, Ami, for your support during that dim time. I know there were scars and I ask your forgiveness. Since it was her 40th birthday, I decided to start a new birthday tradition. I, as suggested in the book, thought it would be appropriate to honor Ami's light. I bought candles for all at her birthday dinner and we each took a moment to think about Ami's light and visualize into her life whatever light she needs for the coming year and also to thank her for her love and support. As each person took their turn their candle was lit. Hopefully, we all recognize those that are "lights" in our life and also recognize our own light and share it with others.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Gratitude: Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

On Thanksgiving, I had brunch with my daughter, Aly, and her family. Her daughter, Abi, just turned nine years, put a paper by each person's plate with the title: "What I am Thankful For." Each of us, Eric, Aly's fantastic spouse, Aly, Abi, River, just turned six years, and I, all shared our gratitude lists. They live out in Kayenta and it is so beautiful to look out at the red hills, the blue sky, and, yes, still green all around and to be thankful for the beauty of God's creations before my eyes. I am grateful to live where it does not snow. I can visit the snow beauty and fun and hurry back to the warmth of St. George. I am also thankful for my cozy home. I have the greatest family, from my parents who are still living to my nine grandchildren who all light up my life. I have three sisters and two brothers who have also, along with their children and grandchildren have added much to my life and continue to do so. My own four children, Ami, Aly, Zack, and Jake are all amazing and so kind and loving. I am also thankful for my extended TurningLeaf family. They are all so gifted and willing to share. I am thankful that I have always had amazing friends to add much to life's experiences. Since high school, there are two powerful women friends that I still talk with on a regular basis. Thank you for great friends here in St. George, who have been mentors and helped along my path more than I can ever explain. I am grateful for work at TurningLeaf and the incredible people that have come into my life as teachers and enrich my life daily. None of this would be possible without a loving God. Yes, God, is good. I have been journaling five things I am thankful for on a daily basis, however, it is fun to have a holiday to really focus on all we have and to be in that gratitude place for an extended period of time and hopefully to stay here.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Happy Thanksgiving!

We are grateful for all the opportunities we've been given to serve.

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Emotional Turning Points

A turning point in my life was the day I started my journey of healing and self-awareness through the Emotional Growth Seminar at TurningLeaf Wellness Center. Having been through graduate school, I felt I was self-aware and had a "handle" on how I would like to move through my challenges. The safe environment combined with the healing process of the 3 day Level 1 Seminar progressed me towards my goals of self-understanding and self-acceptance quicker then I would have achieved on my own. Through the Seminar journey, I was able to create healing opportunities for myself, which in turn created a new found freedom from pain, past relationship issues, and insecurities that plagued me at that time in my life. The Emotional Growth Seminars at TurningLeaf Wellness Center have been an excellent investment in my personal and professional growth.

One of the best gifts we can give to ourselves is to progress towards our dreams. The next Level 1 is coming up in December! What a wonderful gift to give to yourself during the holidays!

Krista Bart, MSW, LCSW

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Congratulations to this amazing group!

This Balance - Adult Level 3 Seminar group has worked hard the last 3 days (Wingate Hotel in St. George, UT). Great work! -- http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

Synchronicities Are Our Own Miracle

For my birthday, my daughter, Aly gave me the book "Embracing Coincidence" by Carol Lynn Pearson. It about looking for synchronicity in your daily life. What a great way to put a little magic into each day. Did you know that the word synchronicity was brought into our vocabulary by psychologist, Carl Jung? He developed the word to describe a meaningful coincidence. Ms. Pearson then quotes definitions from other writers. I personally like the idea by Frank Joseph in "Synchronicity and You", "Synchronicities are our own miracle and revelations that ground us in the Creator, and guide us in developing a reverence for and comprehension of the creation. Synchronicity is religion without dogma, wherein all are free to draw their own conclusions from personal experience." What fun to look for our own miracles on a daily basis. Do you keep a journal? This, she states, is a good place to record these synchronicities of your life. She suggests telling the story of the meaningful coincidence and then the meaning it might have for you or how it makes you feel. If there is an action that seems to be suggested then she writes it down and does it. One of the meaningful coincidences in just reading the book was that she quoted and referenced some of my favorite poems and books: ie, "The Guest House" by Rumi, and "If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again" by Diane Loomans from her book "Full Esteem Ahead" ( I also found this poem on a Celestial Seasonings Tea Box), and she quotes the book "A Course in Miracles" another of my favorites. I am going to spend the next few blogs on the synchronicities I have noticed in my life and I would love to hear about yours.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

11-16-10: What do you think?

I recently read the following and wanted to pass it on for your consideration. A medical school professor once posed this bio-ethics question to a group of students: "Here's a family history. The father has syphilis. The mother has TB. They already have four children. The first is blind. The second has died. The third is deaf. The fourth has TB. Now the mother is pregnant again. The parents come to you for advice. They are willing to abort their child if you decide they should. What do you say." After the students shared their various opinions, the professors placed them into groups to make final decisions. After deliberating, every group reported that it would recommend an abortion to the parents. "Congratulations," the professor told his class. "You have just took the life of Beethoven." The author then goes on to say that "like Beethoven, every person has potential to add music to the great symphony called life. That includes the people you encounter in life. And that includes you, too. You - and everyone around you - have way more potential than you have history or heritage."

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Doing Value Based Parenting Workshop today for Re-Creation Retreat Girls School at Kanab, UT. -- http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

11-09-10: "Curve Balls" in Life

Recently I was talking with a friend about how come it seems life throws us "curve balls" just at the moment we think we are "in a good place" in life. Often we blame others, our higher power, or even ourselves when things do not go the way we had hoped. When things do not progress the way we had hoped, as human beings we often become frustrated or discouraged. Instead of becoming frustrated and discouraged, we can choose to see our life's "curve balls" as a strength; we can rise to the occasion. An inspiring quote by Helen Keller explains it perfectly: "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

Krista Bart, MSW, LCSW

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Value Based Parenting: Mixed families and Co-Parenting

Co-Parenting is a challenge, but can be more difficult when the person you co-parent with doesn't live in the same home. Below are the topics covered. Audio download -- http://bit.ly/wims8

- Single Parenting
- Blended Families
- Polarized Parents
- Overcoming crisis and contention
- Growing out of crisis
- 3 Steps of communication

Value Based Parenting -- http://bit.ly/wims8

Value Based Parenting: What is the Value Based Parenting method?

The Value Based Parenting method gives parents knowledge and tools to instill and reinforce solid principles and morals that their children can carry into adulthood. This method isn't just about getting a child's behavior in control, but rather it's about but developing the child's conscience and integrity – their values. Value Based Parenting is a positive and affirming way to teach healthy boundaries with which the child can begin to govern themselves as they get older. Children raised with this method learn to feel satisfaction and achievement in accepting responsibility, making wise choices and contributing to the family structure. Value Based Parenting help preserve and strengthen the integrity of the family unit through consistency, communication and love.

Value Based Parenting -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What are TurningLeaf Seminars? They are a series 4 Seminars. Here are their descriptions.

Level 1

If you had the ability to remove from your life unnecessary emotional pain, How far would you be willing to go to do it? What would it do to your capacity to deal with necessary emotional pain? The level 1 seminar is designed to help you create the capacity to feel free from hurtful emotions and belief systems that have caused emotional discomfort. To help you rewrite the programming of your life that has caused you to disconnect or insulate yourself from emotional relationships. It also gives you the ability to implement healthy boundaries without hurting and cutting people out of your life. It would increase communication and deepen relationships, while giving you the ability to heal and nurture relationships that have been diminished. This seminar is recommended to anyone. If you are struggling in your marriage, relationships in your family, or you would like to feel better than you ever had. This is a safe and powerful way for you and your loved ones to attend a seminar that will help you reconnect and heal.

Level 2

Discernment Level 2 is the second of a series of four seminars. This seminar gives you the ability to see yourself differently by challenging your belief systems that have held you hostage. It will help you with the ability to be at peace within your own skin and find a place of serenity. It will help you make your heart and mind a safe place to be. Level 2 also gives you the ability to tune in to your discernment and to use it more effectively as a guide and a mentor. It increases your spirituality, whatever spirituality you may have. It'll give you a deeper connection to your higher power.

Level 3

Balance Level 3 is the third of a series of four seminars. This seminar helps you create balance in your life by removing fear. It is designed to give you the ability, in a very safe environment, to challenge the fears that you've been hanging on to for most of your life. Fear has affected your ability to create deep, meaningful, long-lasting relationships or to just simply feel comfortable with in your own environment.

Level 4

Empowerment Level 4 is the last of four seminars. You will use what you have learned by changing the beliefs to create instant relief and direction. Level 4 gives you the ability to recognize where the belief systems come from, change them by using the tools you have gained from the last three seminars, as well as new tools provided in Level 4 change. It prepares you to move forward on your own to create powerful relationships, reaching dreams, and becoming the person you have known you are.

Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director

TurningLeaf Wellness Center

Office: 435-652-1202

Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."

Great News!

Parents of Teens who have been through TurningLeaf Seminars get 50% OFF their Teen's Level 1 Seminar from now on. The next Teen Wakening Level 1 Seminar is Feb 24-26, 2011. Seating is limited. Don't miss this opportunity! For more info call 435-652-1202‪ or online -- http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

Substance Abuse Programs: Services available at TurningLeaf

Click Here -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Value Based Parenting: What is the Greatest Human Need?

Value Based Parenting can help you understand why our children do what they do. Below are the topics covered. Audio download -- http://bit.ly/wims8

- Job of a Parent
- Parenting out of guilt and shame
- The greatest human need
- Ripple effect
- Parenting out of fear vs. love
- Boundaries
- Filters

Value Based Parenting -- http://bit.ly/wims8

Gratitude is a catalyst for Hope

My heart has been full of gratitude lately. Sometimes when the world seems so distraught with the economy, politics, unemployment, it helps to see what we do have. I have found as I take time each day to check in with myself on my "Gratitude List" I have more peace, contentment, and satisfaction in my life. The ability to acknowledge what I currently have, helps to create a sense of hope that in the future I will also continue to have the things I desire in my life.

Krista Bart, MSW, LCSW

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

10-20-10: The Little Things

Recently I was mountain biking with a friend. Although my friend was more advanced in fitness and biking ability, my friend ?waited? for me on the trail. It was a wonderful feeling for me, as it increased my feelings of safety. In that experience it seemed to me, my friend was less interested in appearing to be ?the best? mountain biker on the trail, and more interested in my safety and our friendship.

Each day we make choices that can improve our relationships or stagnate/destroy them. For me it is the little things that add up, either to help or to hurt my relationships. Being able to both ?give? and ?receive? the ?little things? in a relationship can promote growth and strengthen connections between people. Making a conscious effort about the ?small? things in a relationship can create a catalyst for reaping abundance and joy in our relationships.

Krista Bart, MSW, LCSW

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

10-18-10: How our Image to the World holds us back

The image that we show the world is in response to how we see the world. Have you ever noticed how insecure we feel as we interact with the world around us? Wondering what others think, guessing and assuming. Or perhaps so closed off that we don't even want to see the world and become bound up in our thoughts. Why do we fear those who are so much like us? Why do we shut out the ones that feel similar to the way we do? We are becoming less connected to the people around us and more connected to the stuff and images that feel safer. It is amazing to me to see what happens when a group of people walk into a room of strangers and walk out in three days feeling like family. The difference is dramatic, eyes brighter, smiles genuine, and a feeling of well being. Why the change? It comes from the abandonment of the image and a regaining of trust in self. When we can see and feel the value of who we are without the external cues and definitions, the world seems safer and we find true acceptance. Image is a reaction to the way we see the world, and the inability to see our true selves.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

TurningLeaf Seminars -- http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

10-12-10: Living a Carefree Life

This morning as I was hurrying my youngest along for school I was intrigued with her sense of the carefree. Carefree, what a statement. Free form the cares of the world. This can be a blessing or a curse. The ability to disconnect for the worries and stresses of life can bless us. However this same blessing can cause us to struggle with the challenges of life as well as in relationships in which we need to connect. I love the carefree energy of my daughter it serves as a reminder to me, I can let go of my stresses and also stay balanced.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach -- http://bit.ly/ecywH

10-11-10: Do you want to know the Effects of Alcohol and Drugs on your Brain?

The end of September and first of October, I attended a Counseling Skills Conference in Las Vegas. Much of the conference was focused on healthy lifestyles as an essential part of recovery. As a part of our Substance Abuse Recovery group, I have used a DVD from Dr. Daniel Amen, psychiatrist, entitled ?Which Brain Do You Want?. Dr. Amen was a keynote speaker at the Conference. He has done research and written widely on ADHD/ADD. For years now, he has been doing SPECT scans of the brain to show the effects of alcohol and drugs on the brain. He not only advocates abstinence from drugs and alcohol, he also talks about over all brain healthy life. He shows how alcohol and drugs, including marijuana prematurely age and shrink the brain. He calls it the ?Dinosaur Syndrome?. His SPECT scans after a year of abstinence show significant improvement. He recently did a study with former NFL players and the damage to the brain that being tackled and hit causes the brain. He focused on a brain healthy life for these former NFL players and showed the positive results. He states he uses the brain scan to better assess and to ask better questions for better treatment. More to follow.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

Conquer Fear!

We can't fear the past. Fear is a future thing. And since the future's all in our heads, fear must be a head thing. --Tom Payne

Conquer Fear!

We can't fear the past. Fear is a future thing. And since the future's all in our heads, fear must be a head thing. --Tom Payne

TurningLeaf Seminars

Last day of Wakening - Adult Level 1 Seminar at the Wingate Hotel, St. George, ... http://bit.ly/aVPLfF

TurningLeaf Seminars

Last day of Wakening - Adult Level 1 Seminar at the Wingate Hotel, St. George, ... http://bit.ly/aVPLfF

What is the Greatest Human Need?

Value Based Parenting helps you understand why our children do what they do. Below are the topics covered. Audio download -- http://bit.ly/wims8

- Job of a Parent
- Parenting out of guilt and shame
- The greatest human need
- Ripple effect
- Parenting out of fear vs. love
- Boundaries
- Filters

Value Based Parenting -- http://bit.ly/wims8

Event This Week

Wakening - Adult Level 1 Seminar the next 3 days at the Wingate Hotel, St. George, UT. http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

Perfection or Progression, that is the question.

Recently I had a friend ask me if I thought I should be "perfect." I laughed at the question, figuring it was 'ridiculous.' Yet, the gnawing feeling in my stomach and at the corners of my brain were indicators that somewhere I did have the unhealthy belief that I needed to be "perfect" in some aspect of my life.

As humans we often work toward obtaining the "perfect" body, relationship, job, car, house, or "perfect …(fill in the blank)…" What if what we try on 'a new pair of glasses' and choose to see our life's journey as "progression" instead of "perfection?"

What if life is about creating the 'healthy lifestyle for me in my life at this time' or 'improving my relationships so I feel good in them right now?' Instead of the ever-illusive "perfect body" or "perfect relationship"?

Progression is a law of nature. We can observe this principle through identifying how time itself progresses with the seasons of winter, spring, summer, and fall, or observing the circle of life through birth and death. We are creatures of progression. Our physical, mental, and emotional bodies progress throughout our lives. As we focus more on "progressing" our health and wellness in these areas, instead of "perfecting" them, we will find our motivation increases, our goals become obtainable, and we can see/feel our successes.

Krista Bart, MSW, LCSW

TurningLeaf Wellness Center -- http://bit.ly/J61O3

What if our children did what we asked them because they want to and not because they had to?

Here's how -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What is the job of a Child?

2 minute Video -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What is the job of Parent?

2 minute Video -- http://bit.ly/wims8

Help for Parents: Check it out!

Value Based Parenting 3 CD Set w/DVD is NOW $25 plus s/h! It was $48 plus s/h. Order Here -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What is Value Based Parenting?

How can Value Based Parenting help me teach my children to govern themselves?

The Value Based Parenting method gives parents knowledge and tools to instill and reinforce solid principles and morals that their children can carry into adulthood. This method isn't just about getting a child's behavior in control, but rather it's about but developing the child's conscience and integrity – their values. Value Based Parenting is a positive and affirming way to teach healthy boundaries with which the child can begin to govern themselves as they get older. Children raised with this method learn to feel satisfaction and achievement in accepting responsibility, making wise choices and contributing to the family structure. Value Based Parenting help preserve and strengthen the integrity of the family unit through consistency, communication and love.

The Value Based Parenting CDs covers 3 important areas in parenting.

CD 1 – Greatest Human Need

-Job of a Parent

-Parenting out of guilt and shame

-The greatest human need

-Ripple effect

-Parenting out of fear vs. love -Boundaries

-Filters

CD 2 – Creating Rapport with children

-Creating rapport with children

-Your children's greatest need -Fear

-Value based and love

-Rules vs. Values

CD 3 – Mixed families and Co-Parenting

-Single Parenting

-Blended Families

-Polarized Parents

-Overcoming crisis and contention

-Growing out of crisis

-3 Steps of communication

Value Based Parenting -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What if our children did what we asked them because they want to and not because they had to?

Here's how -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What is the job of a Child?

2 minute Video -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What is the job of Parent?

2 minute Video -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What is Value Based Parenting?

A Happy Life

A client recently gave me this quote and thought I would pass it on. "Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. Let go of what you cannot change. Kiss slowly. Play hard. Forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have NO regrets. Life is too short to be anything but happy." What do you think?

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Substance Abuse & Addiction Specialist

What is Value Based Parenting?

How can Value Based Parenting help me teach my children to govern themselves?

The Value Based Parenting method gives parents knowledge and tools to instill and reinforce solid principles and morals that their children can carry into adulthood. This method isn't just about getting a child's behavior in control, but rather it's about but developing the child's conscience and integrity – their values. Value Based Parenting is a positive and affirming way to teach healthy boundaries with which the child can begin to govern themselves as they get older. Children raised with this method learn to feel satisfaction and achievement in accepting responsibility, making wise choices and contributing to the family structure. Value Based Parenting help preserve and strengthen the integrity of the family unit through consistency, communication and love.

The Value Based Parenting CDs covers 3 important areas in parenting.

CD 1 – Greatest Human Need

-Job of a Parent

-Parenting out of guilt and shame

-The greatest human need

-Ripple effect

-Parenting out of fear vs. love

-Boundaries

-Filters

CD 2 – Creating Rapport with children

-Creating rapport with children

-Your children's greatest need

-Fear

-Value based and love

-Rules vs. Values

CD 3 – Mixed families and Co-Parenting

-Single Parenting

-Blended Families

-Polarized Parents

-Overcoming crisis and contention

-Growing out of crisis

-3 Steps of communication

Value Based Parenting -- http://bit.ly/wims8

What are TurningLeaf's Personal Growth Seminars?

It is series of Seminars to help you unlock your full potential. Below is a description of each Seminar.

Wakening - Level 1 Seminar

Discernment - Level 2 Seminar

Balance - Level 3 Seminar

Empowerment - Level 4 Seminar

TurningLeaf's Personal Growth Seminars -- http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

Finding Joy in the Journey with Humor

This weekend I heard a 30 year old woman talk about recovering from Stage 3 breast cancer. She was talking about finding joy in the journey and she also decided that she also need to use humor to get through all the treatments, loss of hair, etc. She was diagnosed at 28 and is in remission. After the fact, she was told her chances of survival were just 6%. I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 20 years ago and went through much of the same and thought I was "over it", however, I was surprised about the emotions that surfaced for me. There is always more healing and growing to do. I loved her use of humor and it reminded me of Norman Cousins' book about healing himself with laughter. I am looking for ways to bring more humor into my daily life and to not take myself so seriously. I'll let you know how I do.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Substance Abuse & Addiction Specialist

9-13-10: Time Can Change Our Perception

Last night as we sat by the fire pit, I saw a coal pop and shoot a burning ember towards our feet. It glowed in the night air, and slowly disappeared into the darkness. I was impressed how time can change our perception. This hot burning ember that could have possibly created a smaller fire soon lost its heat and became inert. We can be provided with opportunities and yet not act, allowing time to sweep the moment by. This can come as a moment to say I love you, or a moment to speak your truth, or it may be in business. Time is either our ally or our adversary depending on our response.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

9-07-10: How many of us get lost in the fog and lose sight of our goals or dreams?

Not long ago I was reminded about the story of Florence Chadwick. She was the first woman to swim the English Channel. She then decided to swim from southern Californiato Catalina Island, a distance of 26 miles. As she was swimming a heavy fog set in and she could not see anything. Her mother was in a boat nearby encouraging her to keep swimming. There were other boats around her and she could hear shots ring out from the marksmen if sharks approached too close. Finally, cold and discouraged, she got into the boat just one mile from the shore. When interviewed later, she stated that it was not the cold or sharks that made her stop; it was the fog. She could not see her goal! She attempted the swim a second time and did it despite fog. How many of us get lost in the fog and lose sight of our goals or dreams? Do we stop just short of the goal? This has been true for me at different times in my life. Some of my substance abuse clients at the conclusion of treatment admit they lost sight of their goals and their ability to reach them. Completion of treatment is sometimes the first accomplishment for them since….

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Parenting is a Tough Sport

When I think of raising my kids I can't help but putting it in terms I can understand. First - Taking a snap shot as my first child was placed in my arms, I looked down at her beautiful new eyes and realized it was time to get in the game. Second - The binkie dilemma. Now, How do you get that thing out of there?! I was certain my son was going to ask his best man for the ring and then say, "Here, hold my binkie." Then, There's learning to work as a team. Sometimes I was the coach calling in the plays from the sidelines. Thinking, "Ya, this one will work," Just to find become a broken play, "Ok, now go to bed." "What do you need? Some water?" "What? You want to tell me something?" "GO TO BED!!" "What? You forgot to kiss Mom goodnight?" "AGAHH!!!! Punt! punt! punt!" Sometimes the quarterback is looking to move the team down field only to be blindsided by unexpected bills and broken air conditioners and sometimes the unemployment blitz. Always the equipment manager, fixing broken bikes and broken dreams. Some seasons I felt we ended as champions, others we finished so far back we deserved a first round draft pick. Fourth - The crazed fan or "fanatic" because everyone knows MY kids are the best. Like I said, Parenting is a tough sport. Dad always said, "Son life is hard, get a helmet."

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

9-04-10: Amazing to see the growth!

Great group! Last day of facilitating Wakening - Adult Level 1 Seminar at the Wingate Hotel, St. George, UT. http://bit.ly/bpt9zN

9-02-10: Gratitude for Family

I have been thinking a lot about family recently and how much I love them. I have four awesome children and three are married to fantastic partners. I have nine grandchildren and they are all so incredible. I have great extended family support with 5 siblings and parents that are still living. Needless to say there are a lot of us. Also, I spend a lot of time with my TurningLeaf family and they are all equally inspiring. Cliff Tapusoa is always on top of things in the Seminar Department and a computer whiz. Thank you, Cliff. The others therapists, Krista Bart, L.C.S.W. Clint Dalley, C.A.P.C. and Kevin Simons, L.P.C. are always available to staff clients if needed and have such wisdom and insight. I would highly recommend any one of them if you are needing help from a loving other. They are open to ways to improve services, have great ideas and dedicated to serving those that are seen at TurningLeaf. Thanks to Krista, Clint and Kevin. We could not do what we do without the support and expertise of Ginger Kiel, our Business Manager and her assistants, Annette Carstens, and Anna Sorenson. I am so incredibly blessed to work with all these talented people. I know Doc and Dean feel the same and I thank both of them for their leadership skills, support and for keeping me grounded. And I live in beautiful St. George.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Help for Parents

Teach them to govern themselves. Now available in MP3 -- http://bit.ly/wims8

THE NEXT STEP with VALUE BASED LIVING Episode 8-30-10

The Next Step with Value Based Living 8-30-10
Media URL:
http://www.mypodcast.com/fsaudio/thenextstepwithvaluebasedliving_20100830_1630-679549.mp3

Stripping Away The Expectations

As parents we can put pressure on ourselves to look and act a certain way in order to do the "right way." When we use this line of thinking, we lose the perspective of acceptance, not just for our children, but of our own humanity. At times stepping back and seeing ourselves in a more human way, not as an excuse for inappropriate behavior and accepting that we are doing what we can with what we have can and will provide answers. Stripping away the expectations of parenting and doing the best we can is all we can do. After all we love our kids.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

The truth about "Truth."

Truth transcends right or wrong. Truth is truth, it can not be dispelled. Truth does not change, it is eternal in nature and is constant. It can be felt by all yet is not owned or possessed by any. Right or wrong requires debate and proof, it is a constant hunger that consumes a great amount energy. As we look to our moral compass we are better served when we look for truth.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

THE NEXT STEP with VALUE BASED LIVING Episode

The Next Step with Value Based Living 8-19-10
Media URL:
http://www.mypodcast.com/fsaudio/thenextstepwithvaluebasedliving_20100819_1700-676754.mp3

Patience Can Free Us From Expectations

There is wisdom in obtaining patience, it can bring a sense peace and freedom. Patience is a learned behavior, part of it is derived from the development of faith, the rest in grown through experience. Through faith and experience we learn to discipline our thoughts and emotions, freeing us from expectations. Patience is the acceptance of time and the understanding its value.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

8-19-10: We decide how we are going to live.

I just finished reading "Ten Degrees of Reckoning" by Hester Rumberg. It is a true story of survival. In 1993, Judith and Michael Sleavin and their two children set out to live their dream and sail around the world. Then one night, almost three years into their journey, a freighter off the coast of New Zealand altered its course by a mere ten degrees and hit their sailboat. Judith miraculously survived, the only survivor, after forty-four hours of clinging to an overturned dinghy in icy seawater, her back broken and her skull fractured. The author, a friend of Judith's and chosen by Judith to tell her story, states: "For me, Judy is the unsurpassed example of a person eager to cultivate a sense of happiness in the present tense. None of us gets to choose how we are going to die, or when, for that matter. But each of use can take a page from Judy's book and decide how we are going to live." For the rest of the story, you get to read the book.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Parenting is one of most difficult experience of our Life

The parent of a struggling child is the one we need to support the most. Parenting is one of most difficult experience of our life, the challenges are innumerable, from health and illness to discipline and rebellion. Then mix in the fact that we are raising them in society and the pressure is almost insurmountable, with the fear of judgment of others and comments from family and school. If we can take the time to help and build them up in their struggles, we will have increased their chances of helping their youth.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

8-17-10 Is it possible that expecting or perceiving that life has to be hard brings problems to us?

I was talking with a friend recently who states he prayed for adversity and the next day he began experiencing what turned out to be a major health problem. I thought about that and it led me back to the conclusion that our beliefs and perceptions determine our reality. Is it possible that expecting or perceiving that life has to be hard brings problems to us. On the other hand, if I expect life to be good -- a grand adventure - is that what I create. I recently heard the statement: "Our future is as bright as our faith." I choose faith and a bright future. I want to follow this thought up in my next blog as I share an incredible story not only of survival; a story of choosing how to live.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Morning is a time for Meditation and Reflection

Have you ever noticed how quiet it is in the early morning, that peaceful calm as the world still slumbers? It is as if there is some anticipation of the new day, yet there is no stress or anxiety, just an openness. Then of course there are those mornings we have woken to little or no sleep, driven by stress and anxiety, haunted by the visions of an undisciplined imagination. Morning is a time for meditation and reflection, it can serve as a marker for the day, setting up our focus, and helping us to set a course that will bring us to our desired destinations.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

The Mind/Body Connection when dealing with Pain

Emotional pain can intensify physical pain. The body has a powerful way of telling us that there is something it is struggling with. Pain is a great way to get us to look at the part of the body that needs attention. Emotional pain can do the same thing when it comes to dealing with healthy emotional pain. However when you introduce unhealthy emotional pain to physical pain the combination can be destructive and overwhelming. When dealing with physical pain, it is important to educate ourselves of the difference between the two and how they express themselves in our lives. Controlling the unhealthy emotional pain can and will help to make physical pain more manageable.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Dealing with Addiction by using the Power of Living in the Present Moment

Not long ago a friend asked me if I had read the book "Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth. I mentioned that another friend had told me about an earlier book she did on eating disorders and food addictions. I have always believed that working through the Twelve Steps is a guide for life and so claims the cover for "Women Food and God". Many of her concepts are keys to recovery from any addiction and it truly is a book worth reading. She quotes one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver. In her poem "When Death Comes", Mary Oliver writes: When it's over, I want to say; all my life/I was a bride married to amazement." "Me, too, (and me, too). I want a life of amazement. I want to show up for what Zorba the Greek called 'the whole catastrophe'." She conducts 6 day workshops using the concepts of meditation as inquiry and mindfulness in eating. She advocates an awareness of experiencing life and "showing up in the only place from which to experience it: here, now, in this very moment." Remember my earlier comments about the power of living in the present moment? I do not want to over simplify her workshops, you may want to read the book to get the full picture.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Creating Relationships with Our Kids

As parents we often forget that we have a small window of time to develop a relationship of trust with our kids. Trust for children is important in exploring the world around them. The feeling of safety helps in the development of healthy self concept and boundaries. Between the ages of 0 to 8/10 we are parents, from 8/10 on up we are nothing more than spectators, cheerleaders, coaches, mentors, etc. This is a critical time to be aware of our energy and the energy we use to teach and motivate. Children by nature rebel against fear and are repelled by it. However, they can be conditioned to respond to fear, using it as a way to define the boundaries and/or the lack of boundaries in their lives. Using fear based motivation with our Children can over time create a lack of trust, will eventually close the lines of communication and influence. We need to use the small window of time to create relationships with our kids.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Looking at our perceptions of reality and questioning their validity

Following up on that concept of awareness, I woke up the other morning to the thought "nothing is as it appears." I think this came out of a dream and I had the thought to get up and write it down, however, did not. I fell back to sleep and the thought came again to write it down. I finally woke up and wrote it down. What does this mean to you? How open are we to looking at our perceptions of reality and questioning their validity. Oftentimes, perceptions or beliefs maybe irrational and incorrect and yet we act as if they are real. That same morning I was working with a client who was open to examining his perceptions and the fear underneath. Perhaps that feeling of fear and the desire to avoid feeling the fear, gives us a powerful clue that our perceptions may be faulty.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Are you your own worst enemy? 8-03-10

Remember, I brought up the four predictors that can destroy relationships, ie, 1. Criticism, 2. Contempt, 3. Withdrawal and 4. Denial of a problem or problems. I propose that often times these same four factors can destroy our relationship with ourselves. What kinds of things do you tell yourself on a day to day basis? Does that voice in your head ever criticize you with statements like: "You're stupid or you shouldn't have done that, or what's wrong with you; will you ever get it right." What other critical thoughts run through your head on a day to day basis. Does that voice ever show contempt for your thoughts, feelings or actions? How often do you avoid or withdraw rather than stand up and be assertive in voicing your thoughts and feelings? How often do you deny a problem and minimize it rather than own or confront the issues. Do you have trouble setting appropriate boundaries because you deny or minimize the need? Have you heard the statement: "I have met the enemy, and the enemy is me?" Are you your own worst enemy or your own best friend?

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

What makes marriages work? 7-29-10

I have been talking lately with clients about healthy relationships in recovery. There was some research done several years ago by Glasman. They contacted thousands of respondents to determine what made marriages work. They could find no consistencies for what "worked" for success, however, they found four predictors that tend to destroy relationships or marriages. No, they are not money, religion or some others that often come to mind and certainly these things can be problematic. However the four predictors cited were: 1. Criticism of my partner, 2. Contempt of my partner or their thoughts, feeling or actions, 3. Withdrawal and not willing to talk about problems, and 4. Denial of a problem. If one partner has a problem and the other partner is unwilling to see the problem or acknowledge it then it can drive a wedge into the relationship. How do you view this? I am open to feedback.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Make Time To Play 7-28-10

I find as I am getting older, I am slowing down. I use to think that this would never happen to me yet, time has different ideas. This morning I watched my two youngest play legos together. I sat mesmerized by their imaginations and the playful process they went through. I was impressed at how there was no fighting, no contention, just a flow of creative ideas and cooperation. Finally I asked, "What ya doing?" The answer, "Building." So true, building their minds, their relationship, eye hand coordination, problem solving and so much more, all from playing. Coming back from vacation a few weeks back I realized the need for more play in my life. Today I saw the benefits of play and the value it holds in the further development of who I can become. So, now slowing down is not so adverse to me, it's now about playing more.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Make Time To Play 7-28-10

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Allowing Our Children to Struggle with their Consequences

I have often been intrigued by how opposition creates balance. So many times, we heard about this concept of reverse psychology, when dealing with a stubborn child. That is rebelling or being resistant. We may say the opposite of what we want to elicit the response that we want as a parent. We often have to go against what we think to be true. In order to gain what it is that we need the most from our children, often times letting go, and allowing our children to choose their path seems very frightening and out of control, but more times than not, simply by giving them control. They will choose the values that we have instilled within them, even though our minds may be screaming to hang on as tight as we can. Often times it's the letting go, which brings us the peace we seek in the relationship with our children. I am not referring to removing boundaries, rules or norms in the home, I am simply talking about allowing children to make their decisions and struggle with their consequences.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Courage Or Conformity

The late Earl Nightingale was, for many years, the most listened to man on radio. His radio show, "Our Changing World" was broadcast on over 1,000 radio stations around the world. He researched and wrote every show himself. The man virtually devoured books. He was consumed with the idea of why so few people succeed in life and so many others do not.

I had the good fortune of working for a number of years with Earl. It was a tremendous learning experience, one I treasure more with each passing year.

We all admire the courageous person and quite often consider the individual who lacks courage, a coward.

However, that is not how Earl Nightingale saw it. He said the opposite of courage was not cowardness, it was conformity. I believe the more you think about that, the more you will be inclined to agree with him.

It takes courage to break away from the crowd, to go your own way, to do the thing which may be unpopular. It takes courage to stand up for the person who is being unjustly criticized, rather than agreeing and going along with the crowd. It takes courage for the teenager to say no, when all the rest of the kids begin going down the wrong path.

Earl Nightingale was correct - the opposite of courage is conforming. It is one reason so few people enjoy any lasting success. It is so easy to go along with the large group. We don't have to stand out, to be different.

The next time you are encouraged to fall into line, to be a sport, and everything in you says no - be courageous and go your own way. There is no compensation in conformity. -Bob Proctor

This is a story that is worth passing around as it has a valuable lesson for everyone. Please accept as our gift to you Bob Proctor's ebook You Were Born Rich along with some incredible MP3's by going here: www.bobproctor.com/freegifts This is also a link that you can share with friends and family.

Do Something!

I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. -Helen Keller

Controlling Our Thoughts 7-19-10

The most influential battle one can fight is the battle to control ones thoughts. When we think of battling our thoughts we think of a struggle of overwhelming effort with the potential of loss. The battle of the mind is not won with force, in fact it is not one at all, it is simply influenced through training. The warrior may train for battle, he my even fight other warriors to improve his skills. It is training that enables him to control his mind and be prepared for any, and all struggles, even if he never sees the battle field. Training our mind to focus in areas that provide answers and understanding will bring peace and hope.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Gratitude for My Partners

As a part owner of TurningLeaf, Inc., I have two partners whom I admire and value. I mentioned Doc Moody last week as my fellow "Elder of Excellence", mentor and role model. My other partner, Dean Nixon, is also a mentor and role model. I am inspired by his ability to use his own discernment and help others to do the same. I am inspired by his commitment to live true to his own 10 Core Values. I am inspired by his commitment to service both to individuals and the community. I am inspired by his loyalty and integrity. I could go on and on about these great men that I have the opportunity to do business with, however, I will just express thanks to both of them for their examples and mentoring.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Seeing our trials as a part of our Journey 7-13-10

Learning to bend with adversity rather than fight is a powerful way to take control of our lives. This week my family and I drove through yellowstone national park, I was impressed by some of the trees we saw on the way in from the east gate, they were all leaning east as though the canyon winds had been blowing hard for some time. This particular day was very windy as we were faced with a very strong head wind driving west. We soon crossed over the pass and found our way to Yellowstone Lake where the wind was whipping the lake in to big swells with two foot breakers. As the water churned from a bluish green to a muddy brown eating away at the shore line with its drift wood scattered beach, I was taken back to the trees, both under the same influence yet each responding differently. One was a swaying dance allowing each tree to live in unison with adversity and by doing so becoming stronger in its roots. The other, a destructive corrosive act displacing much of the life that had once clung to its sandy home, churning and thrashing in a different dance, one of inflicting will and ambivalence to its destruction. Before I had left my hot desert home in St. George for the cooler plains of Wyoming, I was speaking to one of my clients about this very principal, the more we fight adversity the more we prolong the storms that teach. When we learn bend and sway with the winds of adversity, we learn of our strengths thus becoming powerful. Just as the trees accepted the wind by leaning east, we can see the trials as apart of our journey and change how we see what is happening.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

What is TurningLeaf, Inc. about? 7-14-10

As TurningLeaf, Inc. is a value based company and centers its programs and treatment in living true to your values as an individual and living true to ones core values, I thought it might be helpful to share the Ten Core Values of TurningLeaf, Inc. They are: Loyalty - God, self and others Flexibility - in all ways Value - of individual, marriage, couples, and families Service - to self, individual, families and community Acceptance - God's will, self and others Integrity - as an individual and business Respect - self and others, Progressive - as individual and in business, Open Communication - employees and clients. I have not listed these in any order of priority, however, perhaps this helps to understand TurningLeaf, Inc., a little better. If you have not determined your own ten core values, what are you waiting for? If you need help come in and see us.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Why does God send us children?

God sends children to enlarge our hearts, and make us unselfish and full of kindly sympathies and affections.

-Mary Howitt

The great freedoms we have in America

On the 4th of July, I went to a celebration in Bloomington (suburb of St. George) as a part of their first planned community celebration. The combination of patriotic memorabilia, songs, slide shows, and speakers was outstanding reminders of our great freedoms in America. The speakers were Dr. Paul and Chandra Gooch. He was born and raised in Utah and she was born in Cambodia at the time of the "killing fields". As her father was a pilot for the ousted government, she and her family were in the labor camps and rescued (father and grandfather were killed) by the North Vietnamese 3 days before they were to be executed. Their sharing was powerful as he shared what he was experiencing in Utah and USA on certain dates and she in turn shared what she was experiencing those same dates in Cambodia. She, her mother, and siblings were sponsored and brought to America. They are now parents of 5 children and took a trip (with her mother) back to Cambodia in 2007. The slide show that they put together to illustrate her experiences and the beauty and devastation of the area made it all real. Thank you, to the community of Bloomington for all your efforts.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

-Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

The Avoidance of our own Humanity -7/09/10

I have often been intrigued with revenge. The feeling of control it provides those who dispense it. We have seen it used in film and literature as a justification for the taking of life or mistreatment of others. Gandhi dedicated his life to the understanding of this destructive power, his quote "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" is profound and layered with wisdom. I believe the blindness Gandhi spoke of is the avoidance of our own vulnerability, pain, sadness, and all areas we show humanity. The fear of vulnerability has driven humans to genocide and isolationism, it has become the cause of loss of hope, and the destruction of relationships. The denial of ones own humanity creates a lack of acceptance of others.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Becoming an "Elder of Excellence"

I was referring back to "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louse L. Hay for some information for myself. In 2000, at the age of 74, she wrote in her Afterword: "I like the idea of becoming an Elder of Excellence and seeing the rest of my life as my Treasure Years. And also (I like) teaching other people approaching their later years to become Elders of Excellence and to take their rightful place in society as teachers of wisdom. I believe that we can be vibrant and healthy until our last days and enjoy each moment of life. I, too, have had these thoughts of staying vibrant and healthy. I would like to become an Elder of Excellence in my Treasure Years. My mentor or role model is Doc Moody. As I watch him and listen to him as a therapist, a father and a husband, I know he is an Elder of Excellence who has much wisdom to share. He is overall vibrant and healthy and still enjoys life to the fullest whether at work or play. Thank you, Doc, for your example. As to the "elder" years, I am not far behind you, however, your wisdom and zest for life keep me motivated to be an Elder of Excellence in my Treasure Years.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Peace and Progress

The pursuit of peace and progress cannot end in a few years in either victory or defeat. The pursuit of peace and progress, with its trials and its errors, its successes and its setbacks, can never be relaxed and never abandoned.

-Dag Hammarskjold

Peace and Progress

-Dag Hammarskjold

Balance In The Family - 7/05/10

There is wisdom in the design of the family. It is wisdom that it takes a Mother and a Father to conceive a child, the metaphor is one of balance. Taking different genders and different styles of thinking, different beliefs and backgrounds, and then asking them to be one in purpose, this cannot be done without a level of surrender. Surrender is a key principal in creating balance. Nature is a great re-enforcer of this fact. Night to day, winter, summer, spring, and fall, each surrender to the other to create life. To truly become a family we must find balance with one another, not compromising who we are, but through unifying our purpose and the edification of all.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Our Children Are Our Disciplinarians

Children keep us in check. Their laughter prevents our hearts from hardening. Their dreams ensure we never lose our drive to make ours a better world. They are the greatest disciplinarians known to mankind.

-Queen Rania of Jordan, Hello Magazine

Meditation with Wyland

Are you familiar with the artist, Andrew Wyland? He has painted over 85 ocean murals throughout the world. As an environmentalist and visionary it is his hope that "If people see the beauty in nature they will work to preserve it before it's too late." When I was visiting Hawaii in October 2008, I picked up his book, "Ocean Wisdom - meditations and art for the 21st century." I have been a fan of his art, however, was unaware of his other talents of writing, sculpting, etc. Here are just a couple of thoughts to meditate on from his "Ocean Wisdom" book. "Over two-thirds of the planet is covered by sea water, yet we continue to call it earth." Also, "Always remember that the ocean delights in feeling your feet in her eternal bath…" The time is overdo for me to once again walk the seashore and bathe my feet in the seas eternal bath.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

New and Valuable Holistic Therapies at TurningLeaf

We have two exciting holistic, alternative therapies now being offered at TurningLeaf Wellness Center. Teri Iverson of Innergy Bliss is teaching Kundalini Yoga on Saturday mornings from 9:00 a.m. to 10:15 a.m. I have done Hatha and Anasara yoga in the past, however, I had never tried Kundalini yoga; and I love it. Anyone is welcome to come and join us. It is just $10 a class. On Mondays, Susie Wilkinson of the J'Coby Foundation, is offering massage and other holistic treatments at TurningLeaf. As well as being certified in massage, she also certified in cranial sacral and other energy work. I have had treatments with Susie and the benefits were immediate and long term. Several of her techniques are different than others I have experienced with other massage therapists. I highly recommend you give her a try. It is $50 an hour and worth much more. I promise you if you come to yoga or come in for a massage, you will also be excited and be back for more.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Fear is a Sticky Emotion

Have you ever noticed that fear is sticky? The harder you try to let it go the more it clings. It can start very subtle and then explode into an out of control fire in our mind and heart. I have found that fear is like a fire, it needs fuel, air and heat. The beliefs we cling to are the spark, what follows are thoughts that act as fuel, soon a breeze of emotion fans the flame that gives life to the undisciplined imagination, which provides the heat. The sticky fear comes from the beliefs we cling to, What are your beliefs?

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Recovery is Learning How to be Proactive rather than Reactive.

A few months ago one of my clients gave me a bookmark with part of the 3rd Step prayer on one side and a short prayer on the other. I misplaced it and just found it again and I am so glad of its reminder. The 2nd and 3rd Steps are spiritual. Step 2 is: "We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". Step 3 is: "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." The bookmark states: Give it to God and quotes: "God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always." On the flip side: Lord, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I together can not handle and I am not alone. Good thoughts!

Part of recovery is learning how to be pro-active rather than reactive and defensive. If I am pro-active I pause and think how to act rather than reacting with no thought. Deepak Chopra has defined "responsibility" as the "ability to respond". Responding is a proactive rather than a reactive approach. Max Lucado in the day by day book, "Grace for the Moment suggests: Yesterday, you can't alter, but your reaction to yesterday you can. The past you cannot change, but your response to your past you can." It is empowering to shift my beliefs, perceptions and thoughts.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

How to best deal with a child with ADD?

Recently I was asked about ADD in children and how to best deal with the issues associated with it. One of the most important things we can do is become aware of the energy we are carrying. Most children struggling with ADD are very sensitive to energy. To often we shift into a fear based energy worrying about the child and those dealing with them, this becomes a platform for other fears and soon we feel lost and frustrated. Skills can replace the fear and knowledge can calm the heart, when these two needs are met the answers will follow.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Change Ourselves First!

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.

-Carl Jung

Shifting Our Core Beliefs - 6/16/10

The process of eliminating unwanted thoughts begins with the shifting of core beliefs. Core beliefs such as; I am not appreciated or I am not good at my job, etc. These core thoughts become attachment points that allow like thoughts to enter into our minds and unsettling peace.

Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

How Living In The Moment Helps You with Your Sobriety

I recently read “Breakfast with Buddha” by Roland Merullo. It is a great read if you are looking for fiction and inspiration. It reminded again of the Buddhist concept of mindfulness and living in the present moment. Twelve Step programs talk of just staying sober/clean today. Often people new in recovery, talk about staying sober/clean one moment at a time. Mindfulness expands that concept to living my life and being aware of each moment in each day by living mindfully. For example, last week I talked about my gratitude to angels helping often as I drive. Too often, I am on auto-pilot with my driving and need to be present. I even have some beads hanging from the rear-view mirror in my car as a reminder to stay present and aware of my driving. Being mindful and aware, as well as my angels, helps me. This morning, driving mindfully, I had all green lights. Perhaps red lights are to bring me back to the present moment and as well as a lesson in patience. Perhaps mindfulness helps me to be more patient. We can be mindful in every area of our lives. In the book, Otto, the main character, is driving from New York state to North Dakota and his birth home. His sister, talks him in to giving the Rinpoche, or monk, a ride all in the name of brotherly love. Otto is a food editor and loves “good/gourmet” food and enjoys gourmet meals along the way. The Rinpoche on the other hand eats simply and mindfully and enjoys his simple meal just as much. How much of my life, other than driving, is done on auto pilot. I am making it my goal to live mindfully one day at a time.

I have started meditating again, another benefit from reading “Breakfast with Buddha.” Prior to this I was meditating now and then, however, meditation is a daily practice. I was a regular “meditator” for a long time and I let it slip. Meditation and yoga are both powerful tools to help in being more mindful. As I am getting older, yoga has become an important part of keeping my body moving, however, sitting in meditation got lost somewhere along the way. It feels so “right” and good to spend those few minutes meditating. Mindfulness, meditation, and yoga are also powerful stress reducers. If you are new to meditation, and these concepts and practices and you want to begin, it is important to realize that meditation is a “practice” and needs to be practiced regularly, as are all aspects of mindfulness. We will be supported in our practice, as Kahlil Gibran, author of “The Prophet, reminds us: “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Screw it baby let the good times roll!

Screw it baby let the good times roll. How can that statement which is so simple and not even accepted in some social settings, be so liberating. Just think about all the crazy stuff you are worrying about right now and then say, “screw it baby, let the good times roll.” Can’t ya just feel the liberation. When my mind begins to over think it reminds me of a hamster on his wheel, running, and running as fast as he can, trying so hard to get some where yet accomplishing nothing. Running and running, and running until he can barely breathe, pushing with every last ounce of strength until “thump” he cant run any long and is tossed around the circular tread mill like a rag doll. Thump, thump his head hits each time he lands until the wheel slows down, eventually he’s just lying there on the bottom as it rocks up and down. He is so exhausted he just can’t move and then he thinks, oh “screw it baby let the good times roll.” And then some where out of nowhere someone gives the wheel a spin and whoo hoo, he is just along for the ride. Off the hinge the wheel spins, where exactly he’s going he is not entirely sure, but he is going somewhere. And he will enjoy the ride.

So often we let our minds take over our LIFE. We waste so many countless minutes in a day just worrying over things that just don’t even matter. We think it matters, and in that moment it seems like a HUGE deal. In that moment, forgetting your kid’s lunch seems like you are the worst mom. Taking the wrong kid up to soccer pictures seems like you are an airhead mom. But in the bigger picture of our life we would enjoy more of our life if we just said, “Who cares” and let it go. Cause all those worries lead back to worrying about what OTHER people think of you. So you ran over the diaper bag today, you are still a good mom. So you backed into your sister’s car for the 3rd time, it will still be ok. She may not be very happy with you, but trust me, I have experience with this personally, and your true friends love you no matter what. They are just happy to know someone just as human as they are. Let it go, stop over thinking. We can either ride this ride of life freely, taking in each moment, learning from the up hills and down hills, or we can over think and fight it. But in the end over thinking will make you feel like the hamster spinning his wheel. My Dad used to say to me, “Jamie, don’t sweat the small stuff.” And just before I could utter the words “um, this isn’t small stuff,” he would interrupt and say “and it is ALL small stuff!”

Jamie Lightner - Life Coach

What our children can do for us?

Is just doing enough to get by enough?

Louis L'Amour was a western writer who always talked about a part of the old West code of "Doing your part and a bit more". My dad also had a similar philosophy that whenever we would borrow a tool or a piece of equipment for the farm we were always required to send it back a little better than when we received it. This usually meant clean it up or tighten some bolts. I wonder if we today have this attitude or is it "do only enough to get by." Do we care if we give a full measure in what we do whether it is our job, our marriage or as a father or mother? To often just getting by is not enough. This attitude often leaves things or people ignored or unattended. When you "do your part and a bit more" it comes back in the form of increased love, better communication or just a better feeling overall.

Richard Moody, Ph.D.

Value Based Parenting Video - How to create a relationship with your child.

How Angels work in my life...

06/10/10

One way I experience almost daily contact with angels working in my life is when I get behind the wheel of an automobile. In fact, I was on my way to work this morning and backing out of my garage, close to the driveway was a landscape truck and trailer right next to the passenger side of the driveway. I looked back and what a surprise. There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't look just in time to avoid hitting a car as I was backing out or looking and stopping just in time to avoid an accident. I say a silent, sometimes an out loud, thank you to that heavenly helper once again.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

How can daily inventory help you stay positive?

06/08/10

One technique used often in recovery work, is doing a daily inventory. Daily inventories are a way to acknowledge something positive I have done or said that day as well as to note something that did not work in my day and something I may like to do different or an amends I may want to make. One client, I was talking with recently could tell me all that he had done wrong, however, failed to be able to acknowledge positive efforts on his part. I asked him to begin with a daily inventory in which he could acknowledge something positive that he had accomplished that day and also something that did not work for him. One positive accomplishment for any recovering person to acknowledge at the end of each day is "another day sober." He seemed to experience that acknowledging positive events, thoughts or actions in his life, helped him to begin looking for more positives and acting more positive. The Law of Attraction, in action, as talked about in "The Secret" is a DVD that we watch in Substance Abuse Recovery group and we can change circumstances by our thoughts. Another quote from "100 Ways to Attract Angels" by Samara Anjelae: Start reading your Angel Horoscope (it never changes), You have the free will to make today and every day how you want it. The power to create lies within you. Your guardian angel and your league of special angels are waiting to assist."

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Who are your friends?

Are they the ones who always want something from you either directly or indirectly or are they the ones who always like being with you just because you are you. True friends are there when you have your face in the mud as well as when your life is really sweet. The true friend does not leave when the air is filled with allegations or lies, but they stay by your side and see the storm through. You, on the other hand also need to look at your actions toward your friends when they are faced with the storm. How true are you? How willing are you to stand behind them and be counted? This is not always an easy thing to do as Peter found out when confronted about his friend Christ. It is not what you say but what you do that counts.

Richard Moody, Ph.D.

Peace and Progress cannot end

-Dag Hammarskjold

Peace and Progress cannot end

-Dag Hammarskjold

Why do we need spirituality?

06/02/10

Spirituality is the centerpiece of humanity. As humans we have always had a relationship with spirituality, it is a stabilizing force. We have always had a desire to understand who we are, to find meaning in the ugliness, hope in the beauty, and fulfillment in our lives. Spirituality gives us the ability to transcend the mortal to a higher mortality, understanding that there can be more to this life than we are willing to see. From the cave drawings of ancient times to modern wikipedia references, google searches, the need is the same, a search for truth. All that can be provided by our spirituality.

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

Who is the center of your universe?

Ancient philosophers used to believe the sun and the stars all revolved around the earth. The earth, to them, was the center of the universe. I wonder how many of us believe we are the center of our universe, where others, family, friends, colleagues and all others are there only for our use and manipulation. Even worse is if others believe this about us. Of course, we all like to believe we are giving and caring, but do our actions truly reflect who we think we are? What we do and how we treat others is the true test of who we are. A simple test will help determine where you stand. Answer this question honestly: When was the last time you helped someone without being asked? If your universe includes this unselfish act on a regular basis then you are on the right track.

Richard Moody, Ph.D.

Letting go of self limiting beliefs

"We must all exceed our own expectations," was a statement made by Nelson Mandela in the movie "Invictus," a great movie about a great man. He was imprisoned for 20 years and then in a free election became the first black president of South Africa. He lived and talked forgiveness and united his country as both black and whites watched the Rugby team win the World Cup in 1995. I have been thinking about how I can exceed my expectations and let go of self limiting beliefs, thoughts and talk. Since we began TurningLeaf Wellness Center, it has been my goal to have an inpatient Wellness Center as well as outpatient. Since I returned from the Holistic Health Conference in Las Vegas, I have been even more excited as I see new ideas and concepts to help people in their work to recover and heal. I am letting go of expectations and believing that it can happen now.

Another statement was from Mandela was that "we all need inspiration" and he found inspiration in the poem Invictus, a powerful poem and thus the name of the movie. If you haven't seen the movie, it is now out on video and definitely inspiring and worth watching. The poem is quoted therein. I have found reading something inspiring every morning keeps me more positive throughout the day. Last week, I mentioned Max Lucado and his book, "You Are Special." He has written many other great children's books. He also has a day by day book entitled; "Grace for the Moment - Inspirations Thoughts for Each Day of the Year." Each day has an inspirational message that reminds me hopefully to let go of expectations and plan to be surprised by God. This is also one way I believe I can exceed my own expectations.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Focus On How You Feel

05/28/10

As May draws to an end and we find ourselves at the half way point of 2010 now is a good time to check in on how the year is going. Thinking of the remainder of this year, we can spend a large amount of time focusing on what we want to accomplish and what we have already done or not done. We tend to be very task oriented and can become disillusioned and overwhelmed. I would like to challenge you to shift from task oriented to feeling oriented for the next six months, in other words focus on how you want the next six months to feel. We tend to lean on tasks to show us success, try feelings, what are the feelings you most want in your daily, weekly, and monthly life? Focus on the feelings you want for six months and let me know your successful results of which I am confident you will have plenty. If need help, suggestions or clarification let me know.

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach

TurningLeaf Inc.

Office: 435-652-1202

Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

How much are you loved by your family?

Are you loved enough that they are willing to overlook your faults? And in return how much do you overlook their faults? How patient and understanding are they of you and in return how patient are you of your children or wife's/husband's mistakes? Love is always a two way street. The returning of love given willingly and freely will be reciprocated. So If you are wondering if your family loves you, maybe you should look in the mirror.

Richard Moody, Ph.D.

Gratitude Can Give Us Direction

05/25/10

In the past, I have written about gratitude. It's a powerful expression, it helps the heart and mind focus on what is important. As the warm days of summer come and we see more of the outdoors, we can observe more of what this world has to offer. It's the simple form of observation that can slow us down long enough to see the true value of what we have. Gratitude can give our days direction and meaning. When we set out to see all we are grateful for, we gain a sense of well being. It also challenges the mind to control our thoughts, to overlook those things we would become fixated on as important. Gratitude is a peaceful emotion, it plants seeds that can grow into a powerful opportunity.

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

Strengthening Marriage Through Trials

05/24/10

Recently I was asked how to keep a marriage free from trials and conflict, my response was, "it is impossible." We can however learn to strengthen marriage to a point that it will survive the trials and conflict. We have been fooled into thinking that marriage is an arrival point, we have been taught to define ourselves by marriage and loose ourselves to it. We look down on ourselves if we struggle and become impatient with our partner, we look outward for reference and direction. We fear the looks of others hoping they don't see the issues. We have forgotten that marriage is a process that needs to grow and mature. If we learn to look at marriage as a child, we can see the process clearly; first, life is new and fragile, it is learning to walk with someone, and speak a new language, it will soon learn to feed itself and take on its own personality, patterns are developing that will shape everything about it and how it sees the world. Later, it becomes challenged, it strains under the pressure of peers and the comparisons to other marriages. The distraction of careers and children enters leaving no time to enjoy or repair the relationship, resulting in resentments and dissatisfaction and wishing, this form of grief and self loathing leads to anger and soon wanting change. After the distractions are gone, introspection begins and the true work is done. If there has been a healthy respect for the process and gratitude for the opportunity, with realistic views, the best part begins, acceptance. How powerful would it be if we could start marriage with acceptance? To know that marriage is a process and requires and huge amount of humility and humanity, to start with no expectations, just the ability to adapt and grow. This is the answer to the question, How do I strengthen my marriage to withstand the trials rather than avoid them?

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach

TurningLeaf Inc.

Office: 435-652-1202

Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

How many of us see ourselves as flawed?

05/20/10

Have you read the book by Max Lucado, "You Are Special?" If so, perhaps it is time to read again. It's about the small wooden people called Wemmicks who stick either gold stars or gray dots on one another. How many of us see ourselves as Punchinello did as flawed and believe we are covered with gray dots rather than gold stars? How much risk am I willing to take to build my self esteem and stop sabotaging myself? Personal Development Seminars help us risk and grow in a safe environment. The next Level 1 Seminar is June 10 – 12, 2010. Level 1 is now a part of the Intensive Outpatient Substance Abuse Program at TurningLeaf and we strongly believe it is an essential piece of the IOP program. If you have not experienced a Seminar, sign up, you are in for a growing in self-esteem experience. Go to http://bit.ly/bik6ce

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

I can't wait to be done with Treatment

05/19/10

I often hear from a client, "I can't wait to be done with treatment." When I hear this, I'm concerned for their long term recovery and abstinence. There is a saying: "It is progression not perfection." Recovery is progression not perfection. Life is progression not perfection. Are we ever done with progressing? TurningLeaf's motto is: "It is not about change, It is about growth." Hopefully, we are continually progressing and growing. In the Substance Abuse Recovery workbook there is a cartoon in the section on Relapse Prevention and the caption reads: Recovery is like going up a down escalator. There is no such thing as standing still; as soon as you stop going up you begin moving backwards. Perhaps we may be "stuck, standing still, resting, regrouping" whatever the term for a brief period, however, if is more than a brief period, what direction am I going? To quote Anton Checkov, "Any idiot can face a crisis. It is the day to day living that wears you out." Most often people are in crisis when they come to treatment and once the crisis passes, do they "settle" back into life or do they continue to grow and progress? AA asks people to be sober just for today. The day to day concepts works for life as well. "Living" life one day at a time is different than surviving life.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Taking The Stance Of The Victim

05/19/10

Taking the stance of the victim is easy and enticing, but it holds no accountability and provides justification for a lack of moving forward. For years I have watched fear of being wrong conquer the need for accountability, producing repercussions that range from minimal to extreme. It is always easier to blame circumstances and others for the issues or predicament we find ourselves in, minimizing our role as to not feel wrong. If we look at the fear of being wrong, we will see the power it holds and how it is the root of the behavior. Years ago when dealing with a young woman in treatment I became profoundly aware of how the victim stance can devastate not only the person, but those who love and care for her as well. It started with a lie to cover what she felt justified doing. She had wanted to have freedom and not feel under the thumb of her parents, she wanted to live life the way she wanted, not "the way her parents believed." Soon her guilt grew and the knowledge of her rebellion was revealed. In an attempt to justify her actions she began to blame her parents, then as she felt her rationale crumbling, she spun a web of lies. Later during a teen level 2 seminar, it all came out and the truth flowed. I could see the relief in her eyes and hear the sadness in her heart as she realized the gravity of her misdeeds. I wish I could say all turned out well for her and she had simply confessed the lies, but the wreckage was deep and extensive. Time will help her and her family overcome a devastating event, all created by the fear of being wrong. It is to our advantage to not get caught up in the victim stance and especially not to model it to our children.

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach

TurningLeaf Inc.

Office: 435-652-1202

Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

Finding Peace Through Meditation

05/16/10

Meditation doesn't have to be complicated. The more we learn to connect the mind and body through meditation, the more helpful the answers. It is important to know that meditation doesn't have to be formal, we can get caught up in poses and positions, while these are helpful ways, they are not the only way to connect to our discernment. Sometimes simple is better and all that is required is sitting still and listening to the sound of your breath, the rhythm your heart, or the sound of the birds. The peace that is found in meditation is profound, and the answers that can be obtained are powerful. All it takes is ten to twenty minutes a day, so start now.

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

TurningLeaf Seminars Events Calendar

Go to http://bit.ly/bik6ce

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

Last day for Balance - Adult Level 3 Seminar. It's been an amazing group! http://bit.ly/bik6ce

Choosing Your Thoughts And Feelings

05/11/10

Often we become frustrated and overwhelmed when looking for the ability to let things go. Our purpose is to relieve the discomfort and end the pain. This can lead to obsessive thoughts and impulsive behaviors. We spend time using methods of blocking or distraction to resolve the issue only to find our persistent thoughts and feelings prevailing. In past posts I have written about the power of refocusing as well as anchoring to help in the constant struggle. Next we need to work on the more overlooked tool of controlling the thoughts we entertain. Our thoughts are like our friends, we choose those who most represent how we feel about ourselves. When we spend time with unhealthy friends it is easy to fall into unhealthy behaviors, the same is true of the thoughts we spend time with. It is easy to blame or circumstances or the people in our lives for the stress and aggravation, yet it always comes down to our choices and what we allow ourselves to think and feel. We choose who we entertain in our homes, now we must choose what we entertain in and out of our thoughts.

Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach

TurningLeaf Inc.

Office: 435-652-1202

Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com

"It's not about change, it's about growth."

Relationship Ripples

05/07/10

I recently saw the movie, Letters to God, at the Red Cliffs Cinema here in St. George. If you have not seen it, it is definitely worth seeing. It is a story of faith and hope of a young boy in a Higher Power and the letters he writes to God as he is diagnosed and treated for cancer. His positive effect on those around him is inspirational. Different attitudes and beliefs are explored and the fill-in mailman, active in his alcohol addiction when he meets this young man, is positively impacted. In our Personal Development Seminars, Dean talks about the Ripple Effect and this is a great example of that.

Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director

TurningLeaf Wellness Center

Office: 435-652-1202

Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."