Hey there is is Part two... the sequel to "A Day at meijer with Bo", previously posted

BACK to Meijer with Bo

Well, after putting some of Dean's suggestions to the test I have decided to cancel the sale of our fourth child. hee hee I dared to venture with him to the grocery store today. It was either that or starve my other 3 children, and I am pretty sure as parent we are required to feed them. I guess I could bring that question to Dean in my next coaching session. hee hee

Anyway, with my new course of action I acquired from Dean, I set out on a mission. I knelt down and told Bo if he screamed, through groceries out of my cart, or just plain didn't listen, then we would be going back to the Van for time out. I made sure he understood and headed into the store. We made it through the doors and over to the carts where Bo had his first protest. Apparently I had chosen the wrong cart and he was refusing to ride in it. So I said "ok let's go take a time out". I think when I first headed for the door he was thinking "well I showed her" because he was content to leave Meijer, but when I strapped him in his chair without any toys, movies, snacks etc. he began to complain. After a couple min. I asked him if he was ready to go back in. Of course he was, and I reminded him of the procedure once again.

The second time back into the store we didn't even make it to the carts, he got distracted by the candy dispensers and he insisted on getting some. Of course when my answer was "no" the second fit was displayed and back to the van we went to repeat the process. This time he decided to play his own game and when I asked if he was ready to go back in his first response was "no". So I decided to clean my van until he was ready. No sense wasting any time, might as well be productive. So I left him in time out while I proceded to clear on the stale goldfish and french fries. After a few more min. he decided his game just wasn't paying off and was ready to cooperate.

The third time back into the store I did manage to get him buckled into the cart and got the produce portion of my shopping done, during which he saw me put grapes into the cart and started screaming at me again because I wouldn't give him any. So with a deep breath reminding myself that he looks like me and he is REALLY cute when he sleeps, I dropped my cart to the greeter and headed for the van to repeat the process AGAIN.

The fourth time back in the store we finally started to cover some ground, he had a few complaints but when I didn't respond he settled in for the ride. I finally was just about finished when the groceries piled up to his reach. He grabbed a bag of popcorn and mischievously held it over the side of the cart. I said "Don't drop that out of the cart or you will have to go back to time out. He played around a little putting it in the basket and then holding it out again. While he amused himself wanting to get a reaction out of me, I continued on. And then he dropped it. I felt the emotions of being overwhelmed begin to flood. How many times are we going back to the van. But again, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I do think he is cute, and if all this consistency starts to work it will be worth it. Worth it to the both of us. So Back to the van we went .

Finally the fifth time back into the store we were able to finish. He was so sweet for the remainder of the time. At the check out he grabbed a candy bar off the shelf and when I told him "no" and asked him to put it back, he did. I was so excited. We checked out and I grabbed a penny to let him ride the pony ride by the door.

As I walked out I could feel the difference in Bo. He had learned a lot today. And I felt proud of myself. I stayed calm and stuck to it. As I walked to my car I had to laugh just thinking of the look on the greeters face the 4th time I left her with my cart. I am sure she was glad to babysit my cart, it beats the alternative of hearing those dreaded words, " Clean up in isle six", cause the kid through the grape jam out of the cart.

A day at Meijer with BO

A day at Meijer with BO

Bo was in one of his "have be the boss, and drive my mom crazy" moods. I was pushing my cart in meijer holding my list and pen in hand. He kept trying to take my list out of my hands and then would of course go after the pen. At first I would just pull my hand away, but then as you may assume the cart doesn't get very far down the isle unless your hands are pushing it. So I usually cave and just give him the list and pen, in hopes of just finishing my shopping and getting out of there.

Later I look down, Bo with Pen in hand is now drawing on his arms. I snatched the pen away and then came the screaming, then the hitting and of course the stares. I grabbed Bo's hand to keep him from hitting me, he screams louder, I let go he hits me. Once again I feel there is know 'win/win" situation. For me anyway, he is obviously "winning" at something no matter what I do.

Later after the feud had calmed, the groceries began to pile up. Bo saw this as an opportunity to better familiarize himself with the concept of gravity, and he would reach back and toss items out of the cart. I would say "no Bo", and as I was bending over to pick an item up I would hear another hit the floor. It had become a game of fetch. By this time I am ready to take the frozen pizza box he through out of my cart and wop it over his head. I figured a little induced coma might speed up my shopping trip. I refrained from such action. I wouldn't want social services to get the wrong idea. I do love him, he is just incredible annoying in meijer.

He finally stopped throwing various items out of the cart and I was able to resume shopping. I headed for the school supplies. Trying to stick to a tight budget I had to search for a moment for the best deal. As I was staring at 3 ring binders, wondering to myself, why are the girly ones on sale when I have a Boy. My annoyance with meijer was soon interrupted by another fellow shopper who had stopped to say, "um, is he supposed to be opening your markers. I looked and Bo and saw he had ripped the maker package and was throwing the markers on the floor, being sure to remove the cap first. Oh my gosh, I was so frustrated. I frantically picked up the markers off the floor and pried the remaining 2 out of his hand. I am done.

We were on our way out. My son was again screaming because he was mad, and I was now creating a scene. People were turning their heads to see whose screaming child was coming their way. And all I could think was "it was mine" I was so embarrassed.

I will definitely be calling Dean. I had an appointment with him the next day, and if I didn't find answers I was contemplating ebay. Ha ha.

Stay tuned... I have been talking with Dean and I will share with you the Value Based Parenting tools he shares with me about this incident.

Jamie Lightner
TurningLeaf Seminars

Ponder This

Ponder This

So often we only pay attention to ourselves when there is a crisis. We don't take our vitamins until we get sick. We don't exercise until a doctor says we must. And we don't seek emotional help until the only answer in sight is drugs. Yet, I can't help but wonder if at the first warning signs we sought help, just maybe we could turn things around before crisis protocol was necessary. It's like Stephen Covey says, "have you ever been too busy driving to stop and get gas". So often that is the case for many of us, especially our emotional health. Let's not continue to wait until we are so depressed or so angry that we don't even know HOW to get help, or we think our only alternative is drugs.


BALANCE - Adult Level 3 Seminar September 2009: St. George, UT
Can someone without children be an effective teacher of Parenting?