Remember, I brought up the four predictors that can destroy relationships, ie, 1. Criticism, 2. Contempt, 3. Withdrawal and 4. Denial of a problem or problems. I propose that often times these same four factors can destroy our relationship with ourselves. What kinds of things do you tell yourself on a day to day basis? Does that voice in your head ever criticize you with statements like: "You're stupid or you shouldn't have done that, or what's wrong with you; will you ever get it right." What other critical thoughts run through your head on a day to day basis. Does that voice ever show contempt for your thoughts, feelings or actions? How often do you avoid or withdraw rather than stand up and be assertive in voicing your thoughts and feelings? How often do you deny a problem and minimize it rather than own or confront the issues. Do you have trouble setting appropriate boundaries because you deny or minimize the need? Have you heard the statement: "I have met the enemy, and the enemy is me?" Are you your own worst enemy or your own best friend?
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
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