Stripping Away The Expectations

As parents we can put pressure on ourselves to look and act a certain way in order to do the "right way." When we use this line of thinking, we lose the perspective of acceptance, not just for our children, but of our own humanity. At times stepping back and seeing ourselves in a more human way, not as an excuse for inappropriate behavior and accepting that we are doing what we can with what we have can and will provide answers. Stripping away the expectations of parenting and doing the best we can is all we can do. After all we love our kids.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

The truth about "Truth."

Truth transcends right or wrong. Truth is truth, it can not be dispelled. Truth does not change, it is eternal in nature and is constant. It can be felt by all yet is not owned or possessed by any. Right or wrong requires debate and proof, it is a constant hunger that consumes a great amount energy. As we look to our moral compass we are better served when we look for truth.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

THE NEXT STEP with VALUE BASED LIVING Episode

The Next Step with Value Based Living 8-19-10
Media URL:
http://www.mypodcast.com/fsaudio/thenextstepwithvaluebasedliving_20100819_1700-676754.mp3

Patience Can Free Us From Expectations

There is wisdom in obtaining patience, it can bring a sense peace and freedom. Patience is a learned behavior, part of it is derived from the development of faith, the rest in grown through experience. Through faith and experience we learn to discipline our thoughts and emotions, freeing us from expectations. Patience is the acceptance of time and the understanding its value.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

8-19-10: We decide how we are going to live.

I just finished reading "Ten Degrees of Reckoning" by Hester Rumberg. It is a true story of survival. In 1993, Judith and Michael Sleavin and their two children set out to live their dream and sail around the world. Then one night, almost three years into their journey, a freighter off the coast of New Zealand altered its course by a mere ten degrees and hit their sailboat. Judith miraculously survived, the only survivor, after forty-four hours of clinging to an overturned dinghy in icy seawater, her back broken and her skull fractured. The author, a friend of Judith's and chosen by Judith to tell her story, states: "For me, Judy is the unsurpassed example of a person eager to cultivate a sense of happiness in the present tense. None of us gets to choose how we are going to die, or when, for that matter. But each of use can take a page from Judy's book and decide how we are going to live." For the rest of the story, you get to read the book.





Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Parenting is one of most difficult experience of our Life

The parent of a struggling child is the one we need to support the most. Parenting is one of most difficult experience of our life, the challenges are innumerable, from health and illness to discipline and rebellion. Then mix in the fact that we are raising them in society and the pressure is almost insurmountable, with the fear of judgment of others and comments from family and school. If we can take the time to help and build them up in their struggles, we will have increased their chances of helping their youth.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

8-17-10 Is it possible that expecting or perceiving that life has to be hard brings problems to us?

I was talking with a friend recently who states he prayed for adversity and the next day he began experiencing what turned out to be a major health problem. I thought about that and it led me back to the conclusion that our beliefs and perceptions determine our reality. Is it possible that expecting or perceiving that life has to be hard brings problems to us. On the other hand, if I expect life to be good -- a grand adventure - is that what I create. I recently heard the statement: "Our future is as bright as our faith." I choose faith and a bright future. I want to follow this thought up in my next blog as I share an incredible story not only of survival; a story of choosing how to live.





Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Morning is a time for Meditation and Reflection

Have you ever noticed how quiet it is in the early morning, that peaceful calm as the world still slumbers? It is as if there is some anticipation of the new day, yet there is no stress or anxiety, just an openness. Then of course there are those mornings we have woken to little or no sleep, driven by stress and anxiety, haunted by the visions of an undisciplined imagination. Morning is a time for meditation and reflection, it can serve as a marker for the day, setting up our focus, and helping us to set a course that will bring us to our desired destinations.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

The Mind/Body Connection when dealing with Pain

Emotional pain can intensify physical pain. The body has a powerful way of telling us that there is something it is struggling with. Pain is a great way to get us to look at the part of the body that needs attention. Emotional pain can do the same thing when it comes to dealing with healthy emotional pain. However when you introduce unhealthy emotional pain to physical pain the combination can be destructive and overwhelming. When dealing with physical pain, it is important to educate ourselves of the difference between the two and how they express themselves in our lives. Controlling the unhealthy emotional pain can and will help to make physical pain more manageable.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Dealing with Addiction by using the Power of Living in the Present Moment

Not long ago a friend asked me if I had read the book "Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth. I mentioned that another friend had told me about an earlier book she did on eating disorders and food addictions. I have always believed that working through the Twelve Steps is a guide for life and so claims the cover for "Women Food and God". Many of her concepts are keys to recovery from any addiction and it truly is a book worth reading. She quotes one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver. In her poem "When Death Comes", Mary Oliver writes: When it's over, I want to say; all my life/I was a bride married to amazement." "Me, too, (and me, too). I want a life of amazement. I want to show up for what Zorba the Greek called 'the whole catastrophe'." She conducts 6 day workshops using the concepts of meditation as inquiry and mindfulness in eating. She advocates an awareness of experiencing life and "showing up in the only place from which to experience it: here, now, in this very moment." Remember my earlier comments about the power of living in the present moment? I do not want to over simplify her workshops, you may want to read the book to get the full picture.





Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Creating Relationships with Our Kids

As parents we often forget that we have a small window of time to develop a relationship of trust with our kids. Trust for children is important in exploring the world around them. The feeling of safety helps in the development of healthy self concept and boundaries. Between the ages of 0 to 8/10 we are parents, from 8/10 on up we are nothing more than spectators, cheerleaders, coaches, mentors, etc. This is a critical time to be aware of our energy and the energy we use to teach and motivate. Children by nature rebel against fear and are repelled by it. However, they can be conditioned to respond to fear, using it as a way to define the boundaries and/or the lack of boundaries in their lives. Using fear based motivation with our Children can over time create a lack of trust, will eventually close the lines of communication and influence. We need to use the small window of time to create relationships with our kids.


Dean N. Nixon - Seminar Facilitator / Life Coach

Looking at our perceptions of reality and questioning their validity

Following up on that concept of awareness, I woke up the other morning to the thought "nothing is as it appears." I think this came out of a dream and I had the thought to get up and write it down, however, did not. I fell back to sleep and the thought came again to write it down. I finally woke up and wrote it down. What does this mean to you? How open are we to looking at our perceptions of reality and questioning their validity. Oftentimes, perceptions or beliefs maybe irrational and incorrect and yet we act as if they are real. That same morning I was working with a client who was open to examining his perceptions and the fear underneath. Perhaps that feeling of fear and the desire to avoid feeling the fear, gives us a powerful clue that our perceptions may be faulty.





Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.

Are you your own worst enemy? 8-03-10

Remember, I brought up the four predictors that can destroy relationships, ie, 1. Criticism, 2. Contempt, 3. Withdrawal and 4. Denial of a problem or problems. I propose that often times these same four factors can destroy our relationship with ourselves. What kinds of things do you tell yourself on a day to day basis? Does that voice in your head ever criticize you with statements like: "You're stupid or you shouldn't have done that, or what's wrong with you; will you ever get it right." What other critical thoughts run through your head on a day to day basis. Does that voice ever show contempt for your thoughts, feelings or actions? How often do you avoid or withdraw rather than stand up and be assertive in voicing your thoughts and feelings? How often do you deny a problem and minimize it rather than own or confront the issues. Do you have trouble setting appropriate boundaries because you deny or minimize the need? Have you heard the statement: "I have met the enemy, and the enemy is me?" Are you your own worst enemy or your own best friend?





Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.