Have you ever come home to a frustrated spouse? What about
arriving to work only to be greeted by an angry boss? How are you affected by
the negative energy they are giving off? Most addicts in recovery would agree
using drugs and/or alcohol can make dealing with the negative energy of others
manageable. This poses a problem for the recovering addict: How do I deal with
other’s negative attitudes without using?
Attitude is like a virus, untouchable even by the strongest
antibiotic. Antibiotics have the power to slow, and even kill, the growth of
the deadliest bacteria, nevertheless are powerless when confronted with the
smallest virus. This leaves many of us overcome by another’s attitude, which
infects us like a virus. Our smiles turn to frowns and laughter to anger as we
let another’s negative attitude infect every cell of our being. There is no way
to cure a virus, just like we cannot control another’s attitude. In the past we
have used drugs and/or alcohol to suppress the virus multiplying inside us, and
as long as we kept using our drug of choice, the virus remained suppressed and
continued to multiplying under the surface.
In recovery we have made the choice to abstain from drugs
and/or alcohol, leaving us vulnerable to the virus of a negative attitude which
we are confronted with on a daily basis. This is why we must prepare ourselves
with an arsenal of antivirals. Antivirals, unlike antibiotics, do not destroy
their target, they inhibit development. Another’s attitude cannot be controlled
and a virus cannot be killed. However, you can inhibit the development of
another’s negative attitude within yourself. Support, meetings, counselors,
groups and self-care are all antivirals we must use in
our recovery in order to inhibit the development of a negative attitude within
ourselves and maintain our sobriety.
So if attitude is a contagious virus, what kind of virus are
you spreading to others?
Ally Neppl, CSAC, ES
Certified Substance Abuse Counselor
Equine Specialist
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstanes, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choece every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change thhe fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it... Holly Keenan
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