"We must all exceed our own expectations," was a statement made by Nelson Mandela in the movie "Invictus," a great movie about a great man. He was imprisoned for 20 years and then in a free election became the first black president of South Africa. He lived and talked forgiveness and united his country as both black and whites watched the Rugby team win the World Cup in 1995. I have been thinking about how I can exceed my expectations and let go of self limiting beliefs, thoughts and talk. Since we began TurningLeaf Wellness Center, it has been my goal to have an inpatient Wellness Center as well as outpatient. Since I returned from the Holistic Health Conference in Las Vegas, I have been even more excited as I see new ideas and concepts to help people in their work to recover and heal. I am letting go of expectations and believing that it can happen now.
Another statement was from Mandela was that "we all need inspiration" and he found inspiration in the poem Invictus, a powerful poem and thus the name of the movie. If you haven't seen the movie, it is now out on video and definitely inspiring and worth watching. The poem is quoted therein. I have found reading something inspiring every morning keeps me more positive throughout the day. Last week, I mentioned Max Lucado and his book, "You Are Special." He has written many other great children's books. He also has a day by day book entitled; "Grace for the Moment - Inspirations Thoughts for Each Day of the Year." Each day has an inspirational message that reminds me hopefully to let go of expectations and plan to be surprised by God. This is also one way I believe I can exceed my own expectations.
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
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Focus On How You Feel
05/28/10
As May draws to an end and we find ourselves at the half way point of 2010 now is a good time to check in on how the year is going. Thinking of the remainder of this year, we can spend a large amount of time focusing on what we want to accomplish and what we have already done or not done. We tend to be very task oriented and can become disillusioned and overwhelmed. I would like to challenge you to shift from task oriented to feeling oriented for the next six months, in other words focus on how you want the next six months to feel. We tend to lean on tasks to show us success, try feelings, what are the feelings you most want in your daily, weekly, and monthly life? Focus on the feelings you want for six months and let me know your successful results of which I am confident you will have plenty. If need help, suggestions or clarification let me know.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
As May draws to an end and we find ourselves at the half way point of 2010 now is a good time to check in on how the year is going. Thinking of the remainder of this year, we can spend a large amount of time focusing on what we want to accomplish and what we have already done or not done. We tend to be very task oriented and can become disillusioned and overwhelmed. I would like to challenge you to shift from task oriented to feeling oriented for the next six months, in other words focus on how you want the next six months to feel. We tend to lean on tasks to show us success, try feelings, what are the feelings you most want in your daily, weekly, and monthly life? Focus on the feelings you want for six months and let me know your successful results of which I am confident you will have plenty. If need help, suggestions or clarification let me know.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
How much are you loved by your family?
Are you loved enough that they are willing to overlook your faults? And in return how much do you overlook their faults? How patient and understanding are they of you and in return how patient are you of your children or wife's/husband's mistakes? Love is always a two way street. The returning of love given willingly and freely will be reciprocated. So If you are wondering if your family loves you, maybe you should look in the mirror.
Richard Moody, Ph.D.
Richard Moody, Ph.D.
Gratitude Can Give Us Direction
05/25/10
In the past, I have written about gratitude. It's a powerful expression, it helps the heart and mind focus on what is important. As the warm days of summer come and we see more of the outdoors, we can observe more of what this world has to offer. It's the simple form of observation that can slow us down long enough to see the true value of what we have. Gratitude can give our days direction and meaning. When we set out to see all we are grateful for, we gain a sense of well being. It also challenges the mind to control our thoughts, to overlook those things we would become fixated on as important. Gratitude is a peaceful emotion, it plants seeds that can grow into a powerful opportunity.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Strengthening Marriage Through Trials
05/24/10
Recently I was asked how to keep a marriage free from trials and conflict, my response was, "it is impossible." We can however learn to strengthen marriage to a point that it will survive the trials and conflict. We have been fooled into thinking that marriage is an arrival point, we have been taught to define ourselves by marriage and loose ourselves to it. We look down on ourselves if we struggle and become impatient with our partner, we look outward for reference and direction. We fear the looks of others hoping they don't see the issues. We have forgotten that marriage is a process that needs to grow and mature. If we learn to look at marriage as a child, we can see the process clearly; first, life is new and fragile, it is learning to walk with someone, and speak a new language, it will soon learn to feed itself and take on its own personality, patterns are developing that will shape everything about it and how it sees the world. Later, it becomes challenged, it strains under the pressure of peers and the comparisons to other marriages. The distraction of careers and children enters leaving no time to enjoy or repair the relationship, resulting in resentments and dissatisfaction and wishing, this form of grief and self loathing leads to anger and soon wanting change. After the distractions are gone, introspection begins and the true work is done. If there has been a healthy respect for the process and gratitude for the opportunity, with realistic views, the best part begins, acceptance. How powerful would it be if we could start marriage with acceptance? To know that marriage is a process and requires and huge amount of humility and humanity, to start with no expectations, just the ability to adapt and grow. This is the answer to the question, How do I strengthen my marriage to withstand the trials rather than avoid them?
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Recently I was asked how to keep a marriage free from trials and conflict, my response was, "it is impossible." We can however learn to strengthen marriage to a point that it will survive the trials and conflict. We have been fooled into thinking that marriage is an arrival point, we have been taught to define ourselves by marriage and loose ourselves to it. We look down on ourselves if we struggle and become impatient with our partner, we look outward for reference and direction. We fear the looks of others hoping they don't see the issues. We have forgotten that marriage is a process that needs to grow and mature. If we learn to look at marriage as a child, we can see the process clearly; first, life is new and fragile, it is learning to walk with someone, and speak a new language, it will soon learn to feed itself and take on its own personality, patterns are developing that will shape everything about it and how it sees the world. Later, it becomes challenged, it strains under the pressure of peers and the comparisons to other marriages. The distraction of careers and children enters leaving no time to enjoy or repair the relationship, resulting in resentments and dissatisfaction and wishing, this form of grief and self loathing leads to anger and soon wanting change. After the distractions are gone, introspection begins and the true work is done. If there has been a healthy respect for the process and gratitude for the opportunity, with realistic views, the best part begins, acceptance. How powerful would it be if we could start marriage with acceptance? To know that marriage is a process and requires and huge amount of humility and humanity, to start with no expectations, just the ability to adapt and grow. This is the answer to the question, How do I strengthen my marriage to withstand the trials rather than avoid them?
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
How many of us see ourselves as flawed?
05/20/10
Have you read the book by Max Lucado, "You Are Special?" If so, perhaps it is time to read again. It's about the small wooden people called Wemmicks who stick either gold stars or gray dots on one another. How many of us see ourselves as Punchinello did as flawed and believe we are covered with gray dots rather than gold stars? How much risk am I willing to take to build my self esteem and stop sabotaging myself? Personal Development Seminars help us risk and grow in a safe environment. The next Level 1 Seminar is June 10 – 12, 2010. Level 1 is now a part of the Intensive Outpatient Substance Abuse Program at TurningLeaf and we strongly believe it is an essential piece of the IOP program. If you have not experienced a Seminar, sign up, you are in for a growing in self-esteem experience. Go to http://bit.ly/bik6ce
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
Have you read the book by Max Lucado, "You Are Special?" If so, perhaps it is time to read again. It's about the small wooden people called Wemmicks who stick either gold stars or gray dots on one another. How many of us see ourselves as Punchinello did as flawed and believe we are covered with gray dots rather than gold stars? How much risk am I willing to take to build my self esteem and stop sabotaging myself? Personal Development Seminars help us risk and grow in a safe environment. The next Level 1 Seminar is June 10 – 12, 2010. Level 1 is now a part of the Intensive Outpatient Substance Abuse Program at TurningLeaf and we strongly believe it is an essential piece of the IOP program. If you have not experienced a Seminar, sign up, you are in for a growing in self-esteem experience. Go to http://bit.ly/bik6ce
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
I can't wait to be done with Treatment
05/19/10
I often hear from a client, "I can't wait to be done with treatment." When I hear this, I'm concerned for their long term recovery and abstinence. There is a saying: "It is progression not perfection." Recovery is progression not perfection. Life is progression not perfection. Are we ever done with progressing? TurningLeaf's motto is: "It is not about change, It is about growth." Hopefully, we are continually progressing and growing. In the Substance Abuse Recovery workbook there is a cartoon in the section on Relapse Prevention and the caption reads: Recovery is like going up a down escalator. There is no such thing as standing still; as soon as you stop going up you begin moving backwards. Perhaps we may be "stuck, standing still, resting, regrouping" whatever the term for a brief period, however, if is more than a brief period, what direction am I going? To quote Anton Checkov, "Any idiot can face a crisis. It is the day to day living that wears you out." Most often people are in crisis when they come to treatment and once the crisis passes, do they "settle" back into life or do they continue to grow and progress? AA asks people to be sober just for today. The day to day concepts works for life as well. "Living" life one day at a time is different than surviving life.
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
I often hear from a client, "I can't wait to be done with treatment." When I hear this, I'm concerned for their long term recovery and abstinence. There is a saying: "It is progression not perfection." Recovery is progression not perfection. Life is progression not perfection. Are we ever done with progressing? TurningLeaf's motto is: "It is not about change, It is about growth." Hopefully, we are continually progressing and growing. In the Substance Abuse Recovery workbook there is a cartoon in the section on Relapse Prevention and the caption reads: Recovery is like going up a down escalator. There is no such thing as standing still; as soon as you stop going up you begin moving backwards. Perhaps we may be "stuck, standing still, resting, regrouping" whatever the term for a brief period, however, if is more than a brief period, what direction am I going? To quote Anton Checkov, "Any idiot can face a crisis. It is the day to day living that wears you out." Most often people are in crisis when they come to treatment and once the crisis passes, do they "settle" back into life or do they continue to grow and progress? AA asks people to be sober just for today. The day to day concepts works for life as well. "Living" life one day at a time is different than surviving life.
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
Taking The Stance Of The Victim
05/19/10
Taking the stance of the victim is easy and enticing, but it holds no accountability and provides justification for a lack of moving forward. For years I have watched fear of being wrong conquer the need for accountability, producing repercussions that range from minimal to extreme. It is always easier to blame circumstances and others for the issues or predicament we find ourselves in, minimizing our role as to not feel wrong. If we look at the fear of being wrong, we will see the power it holds and how it is the root of the behavior. Years ago when dealing with a young woman in treatment I became profoundly aware of how the victim stance can devastate not only the person, but those who love and care for her as well. It started with a lie to cover what she felt justified doing. She had wanted to have freedom and not feel under the thumb of her parents, she wanted to live life the way she wanted, not "the way her parents believed." Soon her guilt grew and the knowledge of her rebellion was revealed. In an attempt to justify her actions she began to blame her parents, then as she felt her rationale crumbling, she spun a web of lies. Later during a teen level 2 seminar, it all came out and the truth flowed. I could see the relief in her eyes and hear the sadness in her heart as she realized the gravity of her misdeeds. I wish I could say all turned out well for her and she had simply confessed the lies, but the wreckage was deep and extensive. Time will help her and her family overcome a devastating event, all created by the fear of being wrong. It is to our advantage to not get caught up in the victim stance and especially not to model it to our children.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Taking the stance of the victim is easy and enticing, but it holds no accountability and provides justification for a lack of moving forward. For years I have watched fear of being wrong conquer the need for accountability, producing repercussions that range from minimal to extreme. It is always easier to blame circumstances and others for the issues or predicament we find ourselves in, minimizing our role as to not feel wrong. If we look at the fear of being wrong, we will see the power it holds and how it is the root of the behavior. Years ago when dealing with a young woman in treatment I became profoundly aware of how the victim stance can devastate not only the person, but those who love and care for her as well. It started with a lie to cover what she felt justified doing. She had wanted to have freedom and not feel under the thumb of her parents, she wanted to live life the way she wanted, not "the way her parents believed." Soon her guilt grew and the knowledge of her rebellion was revealed. In an attempt to justify her actions she began to blame her parents, then as she felt her rationale crumbling, she spun a web of lies. Later during a teen level 2 seminar, it all came out and the truth flowed. I could see the relief in her eyes and hear the sadness in her heart as she realized the gravity of her misdeeds. I wish I could say all turned out well for her and she had simply confessed the lies, but the wreckage was deep and extensive. Time will help her and her family overcome a devastating event, all created by the fear of being wrong. It is to our advantage to not get caught up in the victim stance and especially not to model it to our children.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Finding Peace Through Meditation
05/16/10
Meditation doesn't have to be complicated. The more we learn to connect the mind and body through meditation, the more helpful the answers. It is important to know that meditation doesn't have to be formal, we can get caught up in poses and positions, while these are helpful ways, they are not the only way to connect to our discernment. Sometimes simple is better and all that is required is sitting still and listening to the sound of your breath, the rhythm your heart, or the sound of the birds. The peace that is found in meditation is profound, and the answers that can be obtained are powerful. All it takes is ten to twenty minutes a day, so start now.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
TurningLeaf Seminars Events Calendar
Go to http://bit.ly/bik6ce
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Choosing Your Thoughts And Feelings
05/11/10
Often we become frustrated and overwhelmed when looking for the ability to let things go. Our purpose is to relieve the discomfort and end the pain. This can lead to obsessive thoughts and impulsive behaviors. We spend time using methods of blocking or distraction to resolve the issue only to find our persistent thoughts and feelings prevailing. In past posts I have written about the power of refocusing as well as anchoring to help in the constant struggle. Next we need to work on the more overlooked tool of controlling the thoughts we entertain. Our thoughts are like our friends, we choose those who most represent how we feel about ourselves. When we spend time with unhealthy friends it is easy to fall into unhealthy behaviors, the same is true of the thoughts we spend time with. It is easy to blame or circumstances or the people in our lives for the stress and aggravation, yet it always comes down to our choices and what we allow ourselves to think and feel. We choose who we entertain in our homes, now we must choose what we entertain in and out of our thoughts.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Often we become frustrated and overwhelmed when looking for the ability to let things go. Our purpose is to relieve the discomfort and end the pain. This can lead to obsessive thoughts and impulsive behaviors. We spend time using methods of blocking or distraction to resolve the issue only to find our persistent thoughts and feelings prevailing. In past posts I have written about the power of refocusing as well as anchoring to help in the constant struggle. Next we need to work on the more overlooked tool of controlling the thoughts we entertain. Our thoughts are like our friends, we choose those who most represent how we feel about ourselves. When we spend time with unhealthy friends it is easy to fall into unhealthy behaviors, the same is true of the thoughts we spend time with. It is easy to blame or circumstances or the people in our lives for the stress and aggravation, yet it always comes down to our choices and what we allow ourselves to think and feel. We choose who we entertain in our homes, now we must choose what we entertain in and out of our thoughts.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Relationship Ripples
05/07/10
I recently saw the movie, Letters to God, at the Red Cliffs Cinema here in St. George. If you have not seen it, it is definitely worth seeing. It is a story of faith and hope of a young boy in a Higher Power and the letters he writes to God as he is diagnosed and treated for cancer. His positive effect on those around him is inspirational. Different attitudes and beliefs are explored and the fill-in mailman, active in his alcohol addiction when he meets this young man, is positively impacted. In our Personal Development Seminars, Dean talks about the Ripple Effect and this is a great example of that.
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director
TurningLeaf Wellness Center
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com
"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."
I recently saw the movie, Letters to God, at the Red Cliffs Cinema here in St. George. If you have not seen it, it is definitely worth seeing. It is a story of faith and hope of a young boy in a Higher Power and the letters he writes to God as he is diagnosed and treated for cancer. His positive effect on those around him is inspirational. Different attitudes and beliefs are explored and the fill-in mailman, active in his alcohol addiction when he meets this young man, is positively impacted. In our Personal Development Seminars, Dean talks about the Ripple Effect and this is a great example of that.
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director
TurningLeaf Wellness Center
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com
"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."
Peace, Just Peace
05/06/10
The deep swelling darkness of loss, that pain that illuminates the obvious, it denies cries for relief.
Wanting my eyes to shut, so as not to witness the visions of the mind, no safe harbor form imagination, only taunting answers sent to retrieve.
Peace is a sweetness craved, gold and diamond, countless quests have been launched yet never returned, swallowed up in a sea of questions.
Lay still my mind, lay still, soft breeze will fill me, no sound of wanting or need, just defining quiet that stops my minds ear.
Peace, just peace.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
Dual Diagnosis as well as Addiction with a Holistic Approach
I just returned from attending the Holistic Treatment Conference in Las Vegas, April 28-30th. The focus was on changing the way we look at recovery and healing the body, mind and spirit. WOW! There are so many exciting things happening and it is about time. What we have been doing has been okay, but there is so much more to aid long term recovery and success. There was a major emphasis on the effects of food and nutrients on correcting brain function. Many centers are now using IV neurotransmitter replacement and oral nutrient therapy to speed detoxification and healing of the brain. Other holistic therapies as regular Exercise, Massage, Yoga, Tai Chi, Acupuncture, Chiropractic, etc., are becoming regular aspects of treatment offered at many inpatient facilities. Many are treating Dual Diagnosis as well as addiction with this holistic approach. My dream is to be able to have such a Wellness Center, both inpatient and outpatient. Now to find the funding to get going. If you know of anyone who is interested in fighting this battle of addiction and can help with monies to the non-profit foundation, please contact TurningLeaf at http//TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com.
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director
TurningLeaf Wellness Center
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com
"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."
Sue Judd, M.S.S., L.S.A.C.
Clifford K. Tapusoa, Seminar Director
TurningLeaf Wellness Center
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com
"If you want what you've never had, You must do what you've never done."
Helping Your Child Through Rebellion
05/03/10
When asked, How can I change the course of a child that's heading on a self-destructive path, my response is, "Kids can't compass off the clouds." Our first instinct when a child rebels is to adjust what we are doing to lure them back or we metaphorically chase the child. We try heavy consequences or we make concessions, even enabling to bring them back to our way of thinking or behaving. This is due to how we personalize the rebellion rather than understanding it, rebellion is a time when we have the most influence based on how we respond to the rebellion. We can change our response to a healthier one, that will change the patterns and opens the door to communication.
Our response is critical, yet can be clear with help. If you need more info and help on this, Please contact me.
Dean N. Nixon, Seminar Facilitator/Life Coach
TurningLeaf Inc.
Office: 435-652-1202
Website: http://www.DeanNixon.com
"It's not about change, it's about growth."
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